


Charades

by Seaberry Siren (Lettrefeerie)



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Kingdom Hearts III, F/M, Frida Kahlo's Color Canon, Holding Hands, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, It may sound fluffy but it isn't all fluffy, Light Angst, Love Confessions, SoKai Day, SoKai Day 2020, You Have Been Warned, mentions of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26411575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lettrefeerie/pseuds/Seaberry%20Siren
Summary: Kairi hasn't seen Sora in a while. Not since... Since everything went wrong. She doesn't want to leave him alone again - and Sora isn't about to let her.
Relationships: Kairi/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14
Collections: SoKai Day 2020





	Charades

**Author's Note:**

> Happy SoKai Day 2020 everyone!
> 
> Before I start, I'd like to thank my amazing beta-reader theeeveetamer once again for helping me out with this, especially with the summary since this time around, the summary proved to be a real challenge for me. We went through multiple different drafts of a summary together until I finally settled on this one.  
> Thanks so much for helping me out theeeveetamer, you're the best!
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all are having a wonderful day and enjoy this piece.

Kairi fiddled with the hem of her short green dress nervously as she approached Sora’s house, afraid of whom she was going to see there.

They hadn’t seen each other in weeks. She should probably be used to their constant separation by now, but this time it just felt so terribly wrong. Kairi knew leaving him behind on the islands was likely the best for him right now, knew that she had a mission to complete, but she also knew that she wanted to stay here with him.

She was scared that he hadn’t gotten better during her latest absence.

Sora’s mother was at the door almost immediately when Kairi rang the bell. She looked exhausted, but her usual friendliness didn’t suffer from it in the slightest.

“Oh, hello Kairi,” she greeted her with a bright smile, somewhat reminiscent on Sora’s. “What a pleasant surprise!” She stepped aside and made a welcoming gesture. “Please, come in!”

“Hello Miss Annasdottír*,” Kairi replied shyly as she entered the house.

Sora’s mother sighed. “Kairi, just Elín is fine.”

But Kairi didn’t want to call her that. They had absolutely no connection, besides the fact that she was the mother of her best friend, and now Kairi had been the one to bring her only son back in a rather… Difficult state. Sora’s mother should have hated her – and yet, she didn’t.

Kairi hesitated before she asked, “How… How is everything?”

“Exhausting, sometimes,” Sora’s mother replied. “Sora woke me up twice last night, so I am a little tired. But aside from that, he is slowly getting better, so…”

Kairi lowered her head. She really hated dragging Sora’s mother into this… And she wondered how in all of the worlds this woman could stay so calm in the spite of everything that had happened.

The recent revelation about what her son had been doing this whole time didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest. Of course she had been worried – even more worried than usual – that something might happen to him, but overall, she came off as pretty calm and collected. As if she had already known somehow.

And that wasn’t even the biggest mess…

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, Kairi,” Sora’s mother told her. Kairi hadn’t noticed that silence had fallen between the two of them. “Whatever happened to him, it’s most likely not your fault…”

“Don’t you hate me?”, she suddenly blurted out. She just couldn’t take this friendliness any longer. “After all, I’m the one who came up with the idea to leave him here with you…”

“And I’m glad you did,” Sora’s mother told her sternly. “Listen, I don’t mind taking care of him. He is my son after all.” She gave her another warm smile. “Would you like to see him?”

Kairi felt a blush creeping on her cheeks. “Uhm… Well, yes…”

“I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you,” Sora’s mother reassured her in a very kind tone. “Just be prepared for… Well… He still hasn’t spoken a single word, so you’ll have to do all the talking.”

Kairi sighed. She – and all the others – had hoped that Sora was just suffering from shock and this was a symptom of it, but if he still wasn’t speaking after weeks… Maybe it was something more serious. But it wasn’t like she could change it anyways, so she just nodded and followed Sora’s mother to the living room.

“Sora? You have a visitor.”

Kairi sighed in relief when she laid eyes on Sora. He certainly looked like he was doing better than when she had last seen him. Not like he had before the Keybladewar, when everything that could possibly go wrong had gone wrong – for both sides, actually. But not like he had looked directly after the events that had traumatized him so badly. Nor like the time they spent at Radiant Garden after that, to try and assess his state with Ansem’s and Ienzo’s help. And certainly not like he had looked after Roxas’ heart had been removed from his own… Kairi shuddered at the thought.

He was still thin – too thin. Even the yellow hoodie he was wearing couldn’t hide that from Kairi. The weight loss made sense, considering that he had barely been able to eat at all after everything that had happened. However, the large bowl of porridge in his hands was almost empty, and Kairi couldn’t deny that she was happy to see him eating again, seemingly without much difficulty.

A few single hairs within the spiky mess on his head had lost their color. It kinda made him look like he was going grey early, like he had aged several years within the span of a few weeks. Maybe he had, considering everything he’d been through.

Despite that, he did look a lot better. He he had clearly put back on some of the weight he'd lost and he was less pale than before. She could even spot a few freckles here and there. He must have been in the sun quite a bit. And his eyes…

As soon, as he laid his eyes on Kairi it was as though his entire being brightened up and started to glow in a radiant light, and he smiled. Still not a typical Sora-smile, still with that slightly sad and haunted undertone, but not a forced smile either. He was genuinely happy to see her.

His eyes were back to their usual blue. They looked awake, so unlike the foggy expression they had when he had returned to the islands.

She returned his smile. “Hey.”

Sora smiled just a tiny bit wider in response.

“I… Uhm… I thought I’d pay you a visit. There are… There are a few things I need to tell you.”

His smile dropped and he stared down at his bowl of porridge. Was he upset? … No. He was afraid.

“Don’t worry, I’m not angry at you,” she reassured him. And she wasn’t.

Kairi didn’t know exactly what had happened to Sora, what had made him become like this, nor did any of the others. Only Roxas knew, and he only remembered fragments of what had occurred, fragments that he wasn’t ready to talk about. All she knew was that whatever had happened back in the abyss, Sora must have fought tooth and nail to keep him safe, without any regards about himself.

Sora placed his bowl on the coffee table and patted the space on the couch on his side. Not a large gesture, he seemed almost shy. Kairi was more than willing to accept his invitation nonetheless.

Sora made a little space for her as she sat down, careful to not touch her. Again, almost shy.

Kairi gave him a warm smile. “How are you doing, Sora?”

He shrugged in response.

Well, he could probably be doing better, Kairi supposed, but he didn’t seem to be in the worst place either, so… “It’s good to see you’re better.”

Silence fell between the two. Kairi felt really weird doing all the talking, especially seeing as Sora used to talk like nineteen to the dozen. She didn’t know if she would ever be able to get used to this, if she was being honest.

“Yen Sid, Mickey, Aqua and Riku talked about… Well, the entire situation,” she finally started.

Sora looked at her, his expression a mix of interest and worry.

Kairi wanted to avoid mentioning Xehanort – or really anything related to the Keybladewar – at any cost. Who knew what that might do to him… So she decided to get straight to the point.

“They say you don’t have to help with…” Defeating Xehanort and restoring peace. “I mean, they pretty much said that they can take care of everything while you recover. Even though you’re always welcome to return.”

And they could use some extra hands, an extra Keyblade. That remark had hung in the air very clearly when Riku had talked to Kairi about it, right before she had left, but neither of them were going to tell Sora that. He’d only feel obligated to help if they did, and that was the last thing they wanted. Nonetheless, they didn’t want to exclude him either. Sora would have to decide for himself what he was going to do.

“They just want you to know that there is no pressure to return right away, or even at all, okay?”

He nodded in understanding, but a somewhat unreadable expression found its way onto his face as well. Was is fear? Determination? Sorrow? Kairi really couldn’t tell for sure.

Sora’s hand reached for hers, slowly, shyly, in a way that left room for her to retract. He didn’t hold it, just touched it, the question whether she was okay with that lingering in the air between them.

Kairi took his hand in hers, laced their fingers together, and squeezed lightly. She wanted to hold onto him just as much as he wanted to hold onto her.

“You know I’ll have to leave again,” she whispered. It was more of a remark than anything else.

Xehanort was still out there, even after all of his plans (and backup plans) had failed. Kairi knew as much as everyone else – including Sora – that the time he needed to make another plan would only give them a short break. And once he was back in the game again – which would undoubtedly be soon – someone would need stop him. Sora was clearly not in the condition to do so… Which was why Kairi would take his place. It didn’t feel right… But it was the only way.

Sora squeezed back. He didn’t want her to leave either.

“I’d love to stay with you,” Kairi murmured. “It’s horrible to be stuck here when you know your friends are out there, fighting for their lives.” She spoke from experience on that one.

As much as Kairi wished she could spare him from what she'd been through when he and Riku had been missing, she couldn't. She couldn't even promise that she'd return to him. Kairi didn't want to make promise she couldn't keep because it would only make matters worse in the end.

But she could promise him this: “I’ll come back to see you as soon as I can, okay?”

Sora shook his head.

“No?”

He opened his mouth, as if he was trying to say something, but all that came out was a breath. And another. And a gasp… He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. The hand she was holding started squeezing hers, not so tightly that it was painful, but tight enough that both their hands started shaking. His other hand curled into a fist and gripped the pants he was wearing so hard that the knuckles turned white. It was as if he was trying to lift something heavy. Too heavy for him…

In that moment, Kairi finally understood. He wanted to speak – was theoretically able to speak – but he couldn’t.

“Sora, please stop!”

He gasped as he opened his eyes and looked at her in surprise.

“If you can’t speak then you can’t, and that’s okay,” Kairi whispered. “Please don’t torment yourself like that…”

But he still needed to tell her something. That much was clear to her.

She pulled her notebook out of her bag. Usually, she wouldn’t let anybody see it – too personal were the thoughts she had written down in it, too precious the scribbles that came nowhere near Naminé’s level – but she was willing to make an exception for Sora. She trusted him.

Kairi flipped to an empty page, took the pen from the pen loop, and handed both to Sora. “Can you write it down?”

Sora clearly hesitated to take both the notebook and the pen.

Kairi smiled. “It’s okay,” she told him. “I don’t mind you writing into it.”

Even then, he was hesitant to take both items from her, and even more careful as he placed the notebook in his lap and took the cap from the pen. He gave her a questioning look, and Kairi nodded encouragingly.

But when he sat the pen down on the paper, no letters or signs came out of it.

First, he only stared at the blank page. Then, at some point he gritted his teeth again and seemingly forced himself to move the pen, leading to a messy black line across the page. He stopped and gave her an apologetic look.

“Sora…”

He shook his head and tried again, but he wasn’t much more successful this time. Well… Not quite, the two lines were crossing, forming a very messy X on the page, but that was it. Sora stared at it with a horrified expression for a few seconds, then closed the notebook very quickly and practically shoved it back into her hands.

Kairi sighed. This was no use either, but if he couldn't write then how would he tell her what he wanted to say?

She suddenly remembered the games they played as children, on birthdays and sleepovers. Games like Spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare, Never have I ever, The Werewolves of Miller’s Hollow… And another very particular one.

“How about we play charades?”

Sora had always been good on that game, particularly when it came to the acting part. Over the years, Kairi had become pretty good at guessing too.

His expression brightened up and he nodded enthusiastically.

Kairi smiled in response. “You make the gestures, I try to guess?”

He nodded again as he let go of her hand and held his up, like he would for a high-five.

“Five words?”

Sora nodded. Then he placed his hand on his chest.

She knew that gesture. “Your heart?”

He shook his head and pointed at himself instead.

Now she understood. “You.”

Sora nodded again and moved on to to the next gesture, a motion of his fingers that looked like they were walking on a surface.

“Walk?”

He cocked his head, obviously not fully satisfied with her answer.

“Go?”

Now he nodded.

Kairi smiled. “Three words left?”

Sora formed an L with his fingers, drawing a circle into the air around it with his other hand.

Kairi frowned. “A clock?” No… That couldn’t be right. It made no sense in this context. “You go somewhere at a certain time?”

Sora nodded once again.

But that couldn’t be just the right answer. There were too many words… Maybe it helped to ask him which time he meant. “Do you mean a time in the past?”

He shook his head.

“The future?”

He nodded.

“Okay, so… You will go somewhere?”

Sora nodded again.

Kairi smiled. “Alright. Next word?”

He pointed at her this time.

“Me?”

He nodded.

“So… You will go to me?” No… That didn’t make sense once again… Then, it hit her like a truck, and she finally understood.

“Sora… You want to go with me?”

He didn’t have to nod this time – his expression told her everything – but he did anyways. He reached for her hand again, and this time around he did not hesitate to lace his fingers with hers. That confirmed her suspicion that he didn't want to let her face Xehanort alone, despite everything that had happened to him. Of course not. Kairi smiled vaguely.

„My hero.”

She sighed. “Well, I can’t stop you, if that’s what you want, but…” She laid her free hand on his. “I just want you to be safe.”

Sora responded by leaning towards her placing his forehead on her shoulder, again so that she could have retracted at any given time. Only when she didn’t, he allowed the weight of his head to rest on her, and let out a quiet sigh.

Suddenly, she was reminded on the Keyblade Graveyard, before everything had gone so terribly wrong. She recalled what he had said back then, so clearly as though she could still hear his voice, right before she had been unable to save him…

_I feel safe with you, Kairi._

Was that what he wanted to say now, but couldn’t?

Kairi lowered her head, unable to look at him. She didn’t deserve this honor, not anymore. After all, she had been the one to break their promise. She had been unable to save him from the fate that had befallen him, because she had been too weak.

On top of that, he was in absolutely no condition to fight – and fighting was inevitable. Who knew how much his trauma would affect him…

Then again, his condition wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t be trusted to make his own decisions anymore. He seemed to be in a clear headspace. So, if he wanted to go with her… Maybe she should let him. Maybe it would even help him recover. If he still felt safe with her…

Kairi felt torn. Torn between her responsibility to tell him he needed to stay home and wait for her to return, and her respect for him, his wishes, and his feelings. That didn't even take her own desires into account. He wasn't the only one who felt safe in the presence of the other… And Kairi was completely and utterly terrified at the thought of what was to come. She didn't want to be all alone again. After all, that was why…

“Back when we shared the paopu fruit… There was something I wanted to tell you.” Maybe if she had… Maybe it wouldn’t have come to this. But there was no point in theorizing about what could have been different. She couldn’t change what had happened, only make the best of it.

Sora took his head from her shoulder and looked at her attentively.

She took a deep breath. “Sora, for all that has changed in the past few weeks… After everything… My feelings for you haven’t changed.”

Why couldn’t she just straight out say it? Kairi cursed herself, cursed her nervousness and fear. Now she was the one clutching her clothes and squeezing his hand.

“I didn’t tell you because I was scared.”

Sora suddenly placed his free hand on hers, the one that was gripping her dress out of nervosity. She hadn’t noticed that the knuckles had turned white… He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand, relieving the tension.

It felt good to let go of the dress, and take his hand instead. It was cold, she noticed. Not icy cold, but still cold…

Sora was looking at her with that kind and caring expression, and she knew she couldn’t let him wait for what she had to say any longer. Kairi swallowed and took a deep breath. It was now or never…

“I love you.”

She let go of his hands, overwhelmed by her emotions. Her heart felt like it was exploding. Did she really just say that? She… She did just say that… Her heart didn’t know whether it should celebrate or cry…

So Kairi fell silent in an attempt to give Sora – and herself – time to process what had just happened.

He continued to stare at her, but his expression had changed from shocked and confused to… Well, she found that, for the first time in her entire life, she couldn’t read it at all. Maybe it just took him some time to recognize that this was real, that she had just said that… Or did he feel unworthy of her love now, because he couldn’t even return those words? It wouldn’t be completely unli-…

A wide smile spread across Sora’s lips and he pulled her into a loving embrace.

Kairi sighed in relief as she wrapped her arms around him in return and pulled him closer. He didn’t need to speak for her to know what he wanted to say.

_I love you too._

**Author's Note:**

> *: The last name of Sora’s mother. It is a patronym, much like those actually used in Scandinavia. This is a result of my headcanon that she is from an area of the Destiny Islands based on Scandinavia / Baltic Sea Islands / Iceland. “-dottír” is Icelandish for “daughter”. So her last name means “Anna’s daughter”.  
> Her first name, Elín, is the Icelandish form of Helena.
> 
> Sora wears a yellow hoodie because I’m a fan of Frida Kahlo’s color symbolism, in which yellow stands for madness, sickness, and fear, but also for a part of the sun and happiness. Kairi’s dress is green because Kahlo associated a good, warm light with the color.  
> If you want to know more about this, Frida Kahlo noted her entire color canon into one of her diaries in the early 1940s. I also made [a blogpost about it](https://seaberry-siren.tumblr.com/post/626262848698548224/the-meanings-of-color-according-to-frida-kahlo) some time ago if you want to read more.
> 
> Also, we have Kalte Hände, warmes Herz (Cold hands, warm heart) towards the end again, although Sora is the one with the cold hands (and a warm heart) this time around.  
> Anyways, I might actually use this as setup for a longer fanfic in the future since I have a few ideas... But we'll see about that.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed :)


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